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Next piece of evidence. At last year’s club picnic I won the door prize – a Rhododendron roxieanum var oreonastes. It was a beautiful plant in a four gallon pot. I went home thinking that the ’93 picnic was the best we had ever had. It sat on the deck where it could be admired from the kitchen window – by people. But it was admired much more closely by the purring pussy cats that lodge. They had an orgy of paroxysms and one of he main branches was amputated – covered with cat hairs. Some of you may see this as presenting a dilemma. Which or who comes first, cats or rhododendrons? I suspect most of you will plunk for the former and you will want to ingratiate yourself to your fat feline friend – by getting him, her or it that transcendentally perfect gift, Rhododendron roxieanum var oreonastes. Don’t be tempted by the claims of shysters touting catnip. This is like comparing slug’s eggs to sturgeon on caviar. Go for the best; but be prepared for difficulties because Rhododendron roxieanum var oroenastes is not easy to find. You will have to be committed and resolute in being your cats’ benefactor responsible for providing the greatest hallucinogenic rapturous paroxysms by acquiring – preferable by theft – Rhododendron roxieanum var oreonastes. Cats truly pass this way but once. Dismiss that view that a cats’ life is a vale of tears; make it a Garden of Eden. You have the answer. For more information on paroxysms caused by ingesting rhododendrons or rhododendron products, see David Leach’s article “The Two Thousand Year Curse of the Rhododendron” in Rhododendron Information, A.R.S. 1967. Also “Puzzles in Rhododendron Poison” by the author in ‘Rhododendrons on a western Shore’ Ed.., A.McCarter, VRS 1989.
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